Let’s quiet that mind!!!!! Right?!!! Aren’t you sick of circular, negative self-talk? It does nothing for you. It stops your growth and your progress and defeats the whole purpose of being here! Take that risk, do something you have wanted to do your whole life . . . we are given some time here, no guarantee how long. So, I want to encourage everyone to get out of their head and into their life; physically, mentally and spiritually. Let’s do it.
So, what can you do when you feel that crazy self-talk bubbling up? Here are 3 things to try:
Pain. Not necessarily a fun subject, but let’s dig in anyway. Pain: physical, emotional, mental . . . whatever form it takes is showing up to teach you, to push you to grow, listen, learn something. But what?
This is where the real pain can start. I can remember laying on the bathroom flooring sobbing (sounds dramatic but it is the truth) and begging for the lesson, the learning, “WHAT am I supposed to be learning here. Please, show me.” Well, it takes as long as it takes.
And if I learned anything (I have learned a lot from pain) being in the moment and walking into it and through it is the only way. Have you ever been walking and then it starts raining and you keep walking and then it isn’t raining any more? You walked through it. If you stood there, in the rain, saying why is it raining, ugh this rain, I hate rain, I am getting soaked -- you would be getting wetter and wetter. When you walk through it you get to where it isn’t raining any more, under shelter, inside, or it just stops. The going through it and not stopping part is so important because sometimes the message, the learning, isn’t obvious right away and you need to keep going to “get it.”
The good thing about it is, it means you are sooooo close to a breakthrough. We already have so much going on and then severe pain is thrown in, it is challenging to keep walking through it. Support is necessary. Not because we are weak but because we are courageous and strong and Determined.
I coach a lot of my clients to stay the course, stay steady in the midst of turbulence, in the rain and wind . . . there is sun on the other side!!! When you hit the storm, breathe consciously. Inhale to count of 4, hold to count of 4, exhale to count of 4. Gradually build count that to 5,6,8...10. Keep it even. Equal inhale, hold, and exhale. Watch as your mind gets calm. It is a life saver.
Thinking of you all and sending love in rain and shine!!!!
This week my daughter turns 19!!!! Wowowowow. So happy for her and her college adventures. It is also a birthing anniversary. So I say happy birthing day too. To all the mamas. This was a big day for you. You birthed a human being. You brought this soul onto the planet and into this human experience. It was a transformation for you, too, mama.
You changed from that moment on. And wow, have you grown. Every birthday for that little one was a birthing of your growth and development and change and evolution. The tiny being comes out 100% dependent on us to help them survive and thrive. We give, we nurture, we teach, we love, love, love and slowly we have to start to let go. Little by little our heart may be ready but sometimes it aches for the connection with the little one, who needed us that much. It is ok mama to feel that. As Mr. Rogers says, “it is ok to feel two feelings at the same time”.
The loss of the little one and pure joy for the grown one. Mama, I see you and I am here for you. It is big and it is real. Our heart grows and expands and cracks and breaks and keeps on growing; pain and joy are sometimes intertwined in mothering. Mothering teaches us that change is a constant and something that is guaranteed. Every stage and age is ever moving.
Just when you learned to love that age and stage, it is over, without warning, just gone. Being present is one of the most important lessons too, otherwise, you miss the smooth, simple stage that is filled with ease and then BAM thrown into a challenging, crazy making, button pushing stage. But “this too shall pass” becomes a mantra and it does – pass. When you look back it is an amazing ride. Guiding a person to their calling, launching them onto their own road and wishing it all lasted a little longer.
So, to all the mamas out there: Happy birthing day . . . you are amazing, it is a miracle, you are miraculous you are.
Here we go . . . 2020 . . . new decade. Wow, it is fun to make that mean something big and grandiose. However, it is really another day, like any other. Within it is the total potential for all things or not, depending on you and what you want to do with it.
The cool thing is that every day and every minute and every second is an opportunity to start over, to start fresh, to recreate and reinvent! If you slept in and didn’t do your morning plan . . . well do it tomorrow. If you ate some food you didn’t want to eat . . . well make a different choice the next time you are presented with the choice. If you stopped what you were doing to do a common task for someone else (OPP, other people’s priorities) . . . then take note and SEE that this is happening so you can make a different decision about it next time this arises.
Seriously it is that simple. We spend sooooooooooo much time beating ourselves up for the “fail”. THAT is what really costs us days, years, health, well-being, mental sanity, etc. The actual skipped this or that that we didn’t do, if we acknowledge it and then correct the course, then BAM we are back on track.
When I am teaching yoga, I always remind my students that the practice is yours not the person next to you or behind you or me in the front. It is yours. It is your body, your mind, your injuries, your stress, your focus, Do what you can and feel good about it. Not do what you can and feel less than, not flexible enough, not thin enough, not this or that.
So much of the time we make a “mistake” and then throw our hands up and say well, it will never work, I can’t do this, and so on. What if you could see it for what it is, take the responsibility and then get back on track . . . right away! That would be a life changer, game changer, time saver. I think that is why so many intentions, goals, or resolutions do not get done. We all or nothing it. That is a monkey mind situation that totally holds us back. We are trying something new, we slip back to old ways, we see that, get up, dust off and get back to it! Period.
No hassling ourselves. If a child tried to ride a bike and fell and fell and fell and then RODE it . . . and then fell. Would you say, that is it, you aren’t going to be able to do this? Obviously NO. So, don’t do that to yourself. Don’t wallow in your misstep just get back to it ASAP. Period.
We can do this!!! Are you willing in 2020 to do this? When you make a mistake or revert to old ways or forget your new plan, are you willing to acknowledge that and then BAM get back on track?
When you revert or forget or don’t do what you wanted to do, please just SEE it, acknowledge it and then get back on the bike….deal? Deal!!!!
Courtney Gebhart, Life Coach, Kundalini Yoga teacher, and Human Being.