We are in a time. The “feels” are deep.
What I know is: grief is in the air.
There is a collective energy of grief.
Whether we are grieving for a single beloved person or the loss of seeing our friends and family or our workplace and all the characters that participate in our daily routine or schools not going back in person (our kids are experiencing it too) or many, many other scenarios.
Grief is in the air.
What I am noticing is that there is a layering of grief right now and it is global. We may be stacking two, three or more of these events that are causing grief.
In psychology they speak of the stages of grief. These are helpful to identify what we are experiencing. In coaching I refer to this as looking, seeing and telling the truth.
Being with it, allowing and acknowledging the loss is so important. Like a wave, the emotions, memories, sadness, a funny story, a realization, can wash over us, gaining strength and then subside. Just like a wave.
You can apply this to any grief. Don’t compare your grief to others. Don’t minimize it. “Well, it’s only going to our favorite restaurant every Wednesday for a date night, it isn’t like someone died.”
The loss, the missing, the sadness that that isn’t happening right now will get stronger and more pervasive if we don’t just allow ourselves time to acknowledge that missing feeling. The loss of what is, needs to be acknowledged. And what is exciting is that when we acknowledge it and allow ourselves to feel it, then what appears is what the real "missing" is all about.
“I miss that weekly connection, just being out, together, in the world, for fun, no kids, just being together.” Then, staying with that, may lead to an idea. What if we recreate that date night as a picnic, make food to go or pick it up and explore different picnic places together each week?
The ideas are limitless but we won’t come up with them if we deny that we are missing the event and how that is making us feel. Or minimizing it, “geez there are so many worse things going on in the world. I shouldn’t even be bummed about this.” That won’t lead anywhere except feeling worse, which will grow and down the rabbit hole we go!!!
A friend of mine passed last weekend. It is deep and sad. I acknowledge that her presence is gone from the physical form. Just knowing I won’t “see” her in the way that I always have, the permanence of this is real and needs acknowledgment. It also allows for other thoughts and memories to come up, again like a wave. The wave of emotions and feelings, thoughts and ideas then it subsides. This can be exhausting depending on the intensity of the wave. Give yourself a break. Time. Space. A little ritual of self care to ride this wave.
If you are feeling stuck with any of this. Please reach out to a friend, a psychologist or a coach. Someone to guide you through the waves. Sometimes we just need a helping hand.
Grief is in the air.
There is a world wide grieving for old ways of being, people passing on, the way we used to connect with people, new people, friends, family, at work, at the grocery store. Everything is being reborn, reinvented and rediscovered. And yet, we can allow ourselves a little time and space to “miss” these things.
Next Tuesday Tidbit I will send a meditation to help with grief. We can use grief like fertilizer. Fertilizer for our ideas. As the ideas come through we can create joy and love even from the grief.
Sending hugs and love to all. Thank you for being here. Thank you.
Courtney Gebhart, Life Coach, Kundalini Yoga teacher, and Human Being.