How do you move through grief?

   Grief. A feeling we don't usually want to feel but so important to. To go through the feeling and experience it. Makes your heart bigger. Opens you to the reality that is. Not your preference of what you want but what really is.
   Grief for me has been so much about the ending of something I still wanted. I wanted someone to still be alive, I wanted our family to still be together, I wanted to still live there,  I wanted to get a do over . . . grief occurs because things end. Things change. The ending and changing of things is a guarantee. Sometimes we are okay with it so we don’t really notice grief but sometimes we aren’t and then grief strikes. I have learned to, pain or no pain, step into this. I have no choice.
   It is the allowing of this that is the healing. Like self care really because we can’t judge it (oh geez, I shouldn’t  care about this or I knew this was going to happen, why do I feel so sad). Death, especially, is a great reminder of so many things. Whether it is the death of an icon like Kobe or someone close to you it reminds us that we have no control on how long we are here, none. When our time is up our time is up.

   This isn’t just a quotable quote. This is a way to live. To be fully in your skin, your life, doing what you are choosing to do; living, learning and growing. 
If grief strikes you hard, these are a few things that have helped me:

1. Take a walk. Seems like my solution to so many things but that is because it works!
2. Be present with those in our lives that we see everyday. No taking anything for granted. Do something to connect, make a new dinner, sit by the fire and chat (even for 5 minutes), play a game, read.
3. Gratitude. Sounds trite but it works. Even in sadness when you list three gratitudes you step in deeper to healing.
4. Breath. Conscious breathing. Even the simple act of closing our eyes and breathing, long and deep can help us to move through. If your mind is a jumble and this is hard then count. It gives your busy mind a task and then you will feel stillness. (Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4)
5. Be with furry babies. Pets give so much calm to turbulence. Snuggle and pause with them. 
6. Cut yourself some slack!!! Seriously. Learning to do this for me is the number one game changer. This is life;  progress not perfection. You are doing your best. Period. NO beating yourself up (and if this is a challenge get support!!!!). Be as sweet to yourself as you would to your best friend, child, spouse etc.

I hope this helps. We are in the game of life together. We are social animals. Let someone help you. Reach out and connect if you need it or spend alone time but really go inside and find what it is YOU need. 
Happy Tuesday, even in grief.